Open Letter (New Features September ‘07)

OPEN LETTER TO MRS and MR WEB 2.0 RETARD NON-ACHIEVER
Dear Mrs and Mr Web 2.0 Retard NON-Achiever,

RSS? What the heck?

How are you doing today? I know that you are having a hard time around the web nowadays. Everything’s sooo complicated. Everyone is talking about Web 2.0 and praises that new thing –what the heck is web 2.0 anyway? — like crazy. Poor you, guys! But let me help you out. I can understand that you tend to feel like a freaking retard unfortunate non-achiever. RSS, Vlogs and what else? So why don’t you have you explain it by someone who is a obnoxious wisenheimer an expert on that kind of field. So here we go…

• RSS: Really Simple Syndication, that’s what it stands for. I can understand that you have no idea what that is, because it hasn’t been around the block for a long time (2 years or so? Never mind, though). Getting the news to you is basically what it does. Using this feature can faciliate the way you surf the world wide web. The RSS Feed gets all the new posts/changes into your RSS-Reader (Firefox seems like ideal for that. Just click the RSS Button in your address bar or — if you’re not using Firefox or a derivatives, copy the RSS-URL into your reader — for example Google Reader — RSS URL: http://philsblogging.com/feed/). So make sure you get that right: the RSS Reader does the work for you; you don’t have to check your favorite sites anymore, you automatically know what’s new when reading the feed. Watch this Video for more information. RSS in plain English.
• Recent Comments: Okay, it is quite self explanatory, but you should consider the following. If someone picks up an older post/topic then he might expect a relpy from other users. That’s what makes the blogging business such a “blast”. So if you are so kind and contribute constructively. See how to pick up an older post in the next paragraph.
• Time Machine: I know, sounds quite complicated, but in the cosmos of PHIL’s blogging you don’t have to bother with issues that you might face when traveling back in time. Just select the months and read what was going on, say in October 2004) — Someone who just felt a sudden shock in his chest, read this: YES INDEED, we are in the year 2007.
• Tag Cloud: First of all we have to figure out what a “tag” is? Well a tag is something that you put onto your suitcase for example. When taking a plane to travel to some city, you also put a tag on your luggage. So that’s quite similar here, too. I, the post author, put a tag onto the blog entry (next to putting it into a category — I just assumed you knew what that meant). So if you click onto a tag, you get a collection of entries that are “related” to that. Cool, huh? So a Tag Cloud, is representing the most popular tags (So in case you already notices, yes, the font size is directly proportional to the popularity. Figures, huh? So if a tag is popular, it appears bigger than a harassed and discriminated tag, a neglected topic on my tag.). As I write this, the most popular one is “versprecher” (meaning slip-quotations). Click on it in the sidebar, your browser will deliver a list of entries that feature silly quotes of silly people. (Finally, an example: This entry has the following tags: blog, mrs and mr web 2.0 non-achiever, update, web 2.0) – picture by ScottMT
• Blogroll: Is that Chinese food? No, not at all, it is even tastier! Go and click on “Blogroll” (also known as Links) and you’ll get a list of Chinese blogs (NOOO!) pages that I sort of adore/like/think are worth linking to. If you also have a weblog or home-page you could technically show up there, too (just ask me).
• The new header featuring nice photos can be considered as eye candy for you, lieber Reader.

I hope that brought some clarity into your world,

Fondly, Philipp
This entry is not supposed to be aggressively attacking people who are not familiar with that. I rather want to show how to do cool web 2.0 stuff easily. Do not be offended.