Archive of Linguistically Captivating

To who it may concern:

You get a 5- according to the strict grading (defined by an action of passive-aggressiveness) of person A who could not stand the orthography of person B who obviously got desperate over the empty toilet covers that it forgot how to spell. Really desperate. That’s called desperillite. A hybrid of desperate and illiterate. Usually happens when people are angry at something and as a consequence feel like leaving behind a message.

Minus Five or Five Minus (depends on how you look at it), that is pretty much the worst you could ever do in a test in Austria. What an accomplishment, but see for yourself…

Lehr, bitte fülen, danke. That's really German spelling at its worst. "Empty, please fill up, thanks" · Plus, I also took this picture with my cell but I figured I want the picture to look even more pixly than it actually is. Just to poke fun at cell phone cameras...

Oh, Toilet Stories. I simply love them.

It gets even better. You know, sometimes life is full of colorful moments as follows. I was in the bathroom and nearly burst into tears reading this “interesting” approach to German spelling. The guy in the cabin next to me gave me weird looks when I flushed and opened the cabin door and he was about to ask stupid questions. Why? It’s very awkward to get prompted to explain yourself in situations like that… First the sound of my camera going “click” (it was not supposed to do that since I put it on silent) followed by a really evil giggle. In a toilet cabin. Weiiiird. I just went on and laughed even harder. Oh toilet stories.
Do you also come across with weird moments like that? Is your life defined by awkward moments? Tell me your stories. 

My association with the attached picture explained as follows: “Ozapft is” is German dialect (Bavarian) for “es ist angezapft” meaning you just tapped a keg of beer. Phonetic pronunciation help should look like this: awww-ts-uh-pft-e-s. Thus this is the ultimate motto for the Oktoberfest (no need to explain that, right? I saw Oktoberfest Sausages at Costco)I figured this little bit of information qualifies for a schnelles (quick) Lingo Bingo and blends in with my sharing thoughts on the internet.

Information Hydrant · photo by Will Lion on flickr.com

YouTube - Two Ronnies: Hieroglyphics - Who says that hieroglyphs have to be deciphered following the translations of the Rosetta stone? What if Napoleon didn’t stumbled upon it. No, just kidding, it actually was Captain Pierre-François Bouchard, well it was a French man, however, I still can’t let go on the idea that Napoleon had some role in this spectacular discovery.

The choice of language, namely French, to illustrate a dialogue of incomprehension, I assure you, is totally accidental. Not · illustr. by Guacamole Goalie

Whenever an attempt to communication or action fails, people get very creative when they encounter a lack of understanding. Both German and English have a vast repertoire listing expressions of incomprehension.

Proceed In The Face Of Utter Incomprehension -  Of course, people should always follow that rule, however, we have so many ways to let others know that we just didn’t get what the heck he or she was talking about. Buh-n-howf? 

In the US, intersections and the upcoming yield, stop or traffic light are not only announced by signs to the right of the street but also with big letters painted on streets. You read the word that is closer to you first, followed by the one that is further away. So for example, STOP AHEAD or LIGHTS AHEAD. Not Ahead Stop, but that will not work either: SOTP AHEAD.

ALTERNATIVE SPELLING or TYPO AHEAD would have been appropriate to prepare thin-skinned people. Well, as Metroblogging LA put it, SIHT HAPPENS, right?

Must have been LA county’s final spelling bee contestant · via Metroblogging LA

As much as some enjoy Spelling Bee contests, others are fed up with this infinite inconsitancy · photo by For Ever Soul

You are not alone… Confusion rules over English as a rule in terms of vocabulary, phrasal verbs and so on. We know that. Being an English as a Second Languagespeaker I am more than familiar - compellingly - with the phonetic unreliability as The Guardian describes the messed up pronunciation and spelling relation of English words. If you know how to pronounce a word in - say - Italian, you automatically can construct the word’s spelling for there are clear rules. This rule does apply for many languages, but English does not feature this consistency as a world language. Unfortunately this gives English speakers (both natives and ELS speakers) a really hard time. What do these 100 words have in common? Visible for you and you only, after the jump.

Following my blog religiously you will probably notice that I am religiously into accents. Accents in the English speaking world are fascinating if it’s up to me. Plus, I absorb pretty much anything that teaches you how to improve your phony Texan or English accent. The video attached to this entry is full of lessons to improve your world accents.

Amy Walker did a pretty good job in covering a variety (21 to be precise) of accents. I love her Sco-ish, German and New Zealand accent. I also recommend the interview the the 21-accent-lady (it’s very captivating to hear her natural accent).

Our way of communitication is totally inefficient and outdated according to Clement Gallet’s Manifeste “for the extenstion of SMS slang to all the media.”

ritN eng iz ded · by clementgallet.com

SMS slNg must B D onlE wA 2 XprS oursLvz

In this grammar book a set of rules is provided to reduce the amount of characters in any kind of communication and points out neat ways of shortcutting b/c time=$. The book’s recommendation is that “SMS slNg must B D onlE wA 2 XprS oursLvz” & announces that “ritN eng iz ded“.